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Come to the Garden Party!..... The Garden Party's new Gossip Queen is TARA!!
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| After St. Patrick
chased the snakes out of Ireland, he decided to rid the country
of the Norwegians. He poisoned their potatoes. But, alas,
they just made lefse (potato bread) from it.
"Okay, I'll poison their favorite fish, cod." Again, the Norwegians just made lutefisk (cod soaked in lye) of it. "This isn't working at all," said St. Patrick. "They can all just go to hell." And that, my friends, is how all the Norwegians ended up in Minnesota. How many irish does it take to screw in a lightbulb Two, but it has to be a really big lightbulb So they can 'screw' in it 'Why don't you give up the drinking, smoking and carousing?' said the do-gooder. 'It's too late,' replied Murphy. 'It's never too late,' assured the virtuous one. 'Well, there's no rush then,' smiled Murphy. A Sergeant and a Private were patrolling the streets in a Irish town near the Northern Irish border. There was a 9:00PM curfew in place. Suddenly private Slattery shoots a man walking down a lane. The sergeant screams, Slattery its only 8:45, why did you shoot him? Slattery replies, well I know where he lives and he would never have made it by 9:00.
"Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?" asked President Franklin D. Roosevelt. "Do we now?" came New York Mayor Al Smith's reply.
One fine sunny morning, the priest took a walk in the local forest. He had been walking by the small stream when he noticed a sad, sad looking frog sitting on a toadstool. "What's wrong with you?" said the priest. "Well," said the frog, "the reason I am so sad on this fine day is because I wasn't always a frog." "Really!" said the priest. "Can you explain!" "Once upon a time I was an 11 year old Choir boy at the local church. I too was walking through this forest when I was confronted by the wicked witch of the forest. 'Let me pass!' I yelled, but to no avail. She called me a cheeky little boy and with a flash of her wand, turned me into this frog you see before you." "That's an incredible story" said the priest. "Is there no way of reversing this spell that the witch has cast upon you?." "Yes" said the frog, "It is said, that if a nice kind person would pick me up, take me home, give me food & Warmth and with a good nights sleep would wake up a boy once again." "Today's your lucky day!" said the priest, and picked up the frog and took him home. The priest gave the frog lots of food, placed him by the fire and at bedtime put the frog on the pillow beside him. When the priest awoke, he saw the 11-year-old Choirboy beside him in bed "And that my lord is the case for the Defense....... " Kathleen Murphy was standing vigil over her husband's death bed. As she held his hand, her warm tears ran silently down her face, splashed onto his face, and roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly. "My darling Kathleen, " he whispered. "Hush, my love," she said. "Go back to sleep. Shhh, don't talk." But he was insistent. "Kathleen," he said in his tired voice. "I have to talk. I have something I must confess to you." "There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Kathleen. "It's all right. Everything's all right, go to sleep now." "No, no. I must die in peace, Kathleen. I slept with your sister, your best friend, and your mother." Kathleen mustered a pained smile and stroked his hand. "Hush now Patrick, don't torment yourself. I know all about it," she said. "Why do you think I poisoned you?" Submitted by Alllie |
by Tara
Pictures by SuzzieQ
Design by Alllie
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