Deep Thoughts By Archie Bunker

On God's words to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden: "Get your clothes and get the hell out of here."

On Affirmative Action: Archie reads off the names on the slate he's voting for: "Tore, Feldman, O'Reilly, Nelson," he says "That's an Italian, a Jew, an Irishman and a regular American. That's what I call a balanced ticket."

On Jesus: Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side.

Archie: I was talking about the Bible which has nothing to do with the Jews.

Archie Bunker: If your spics and your spades want their rightful share of the American dream, let 'em get out there and hustle for it like I done.
Mike: So now you're going to tell me the black man has just as must chance as the white man to get a job?
Archie Bunker: More, he has more... I didn't have no million people marchin' and protestin' to get me my job.
Edith: No, his uncle got it for him."

Archie: Well, I'll tell you one thing about President Nixon. He keeps Pat home. Which was where Roosevelt should have kept Eleanor. Instead he let her run around loose until one day she discovered the colored. We never knew they were there. She told them they were gettin' the short end of the stick and we been having trouble ever since.

Gloria: I'm sorry, Mr. Davis, sometimes my father says the wrong things.
Sammy Davis Jr.: Yeah, I've noticed that.
Lionel Jefferson: But he's not a bad guy, Mr. Davis. I mean, like, he'd never burn a cross on your lawn.
Sammy Davis Jr.: No, but if he saw one burning, he's liable to toast a marshmallow on it.

Archie (to Mike):"You're the one who needs an American history lesson. You don't know anything about Lady Liberty, standing there in the harbor, with her torch out high, screaming out to all the nations of the world - Send me your poor, your deadbeats, your filthy..."

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